Manuscript Meets Agent: A Love Story

     The manuscript sips a mocha-ice-rage-with-espresso-shot. “It’s okay,” the manuscript tells the word processing program, her bff. “I’m okay not having anyone. The un-represented-life – that’s where all the action is!”
     The word processing program nods encouragingly.
     The manuscript warms to the subject. “You don’t need to have someone to be happy. It’s not like an agent will complete me. I’m a complete manuscript as is, baby! I don’t need anyone.”
     The word processing program nods again. “Right!” She is very good at ego-hand-holding.
     “Maybe I’ll just post myself online! Blogs are hot now, right? You don’t even need a publisher!”
     “I guess you could do that-“
     The manuscript ignores the hesitation in the word processing program’s voice. “Or I’ll just change some character names and go up as fan-fiction somewhere. I’ll have readers then! You’ll see!”
     “Wait, wait. You really don’t want to do that.”
     “Well, no, I don’t, but I could. I’m just saying.”
     The program decides it’s time to gently insert some reality into the conversation. “Listen, it’s going to take some time. That’s all. The important thing is you’re getting out there.”
     “WHY DON’T THEY EMAIL THEN?” The manuscript wails.
     “It’s just going to take time. You have to be patient. Agents are busy people.”
     “It’s awful!”
     “Listen to me. You’re going to find just the right agent for you.” The program hands the manuscript a tissue.
      Just then, the email manager shoulders into the cybercafé. “Mail call! Manuscript? Here ya go, hon.”
     The manuscript takes the file in a desultory fashion. “It’s probably just spam for male enhancement. Again.”
     Then the manuscript gasps. Reads through the file and screams with joy!
     “It’s from an agent wanting to talk to me about me!”
     The program screams with joy in solidarity. “I told you!”
     The manuscript dashes a quick reply to the agent. It reads along the lines of “You had me at Subject: Talk.”

Fin

(Can you tell I’ve been reading Sedaris?)


The Really-Real Version
As fun as that was, I am going to go ahead and switch gears and tell the “real world” version now. Some people have asked for the story behind my getting agented. Also, when I began my agent-search, I spent a fair amount of time reading the “How I Got My Agent” blog entries of other writers. They were instructive, encouraging, and enjoyable. So, I’m going to pass it on and share my experience. And finally, I must admit, it feels wonderfully compulsory in the way of  “How I Spent My Summer Vacation” essays that first week of school – how you kinda enjoyed looking back at the journey.
First: A disclaimer
There is a lot of “backstory” that I am not going to tell – simply can’t tell. Suffice it to say, no over-night agent-landing here. Years of work, investment, workshops, ups, downs. So, it’s like we’re joining the show after it’s been on the air for 5 or 6 seasons already.

Nothing says "Must-See-TV" like TAFFETA

 Second: A promise
I’m going to be brutally honest. SEE! The writer admit to the number of rejections she received! HEAR! The writer fess up actual numbers! GASP! As she flies thru the queries with the greatest of unease! CHEER! As she lands! And all this: BLINDFOLDED!

I'm on the left. 

 Third: A Shout Out
Wow. Do I ever owe two awesome authors. Rachel and Vicky, who are both so full of amazing writerly talents and powers it shoots out of their eyes and fingertips (see a picture here). They both shared their stories, lessons-learned, encouragement, and over-all-auras-of-fantabuloustique -that I was and remain- humbled and thrilled to call them friends.

THE REAL STORY (with TRUE TO LIFE NUMBERS!)
I started the query process in earnest the week before Thanksgiving, 2010. I sent about 5 queries every week for four consecutive weeks. Yes, we call this the “Shotgun Approach.” 

Now some would absolutely not advocate for this approach. It depends on your confidence level that you have polished and refined both your pitch and manuscript as far as they can go. I knew I had done both, and so I decided to lock and load it.

The advantages of the “Shotgun” Approach: Momentum. Excitement. Ego-Cushion from the inevitable “passes” (sounds nicer than rejections, yes?) Also, the shotgun may lead to multiple requests for partials or fulls – a win in my book. Especially if that leads to offer(s) sooner!

Disadvantages: if you’re not ready, you don’t get a do-over.

In reality, I didn’t do a “full shotgun” because I sent the queries in batches of five over four weeks. Still, I hit it hard, fast, and continuously. Twenty was my goal number (random, big, but not “and now I cannot go fish later” if it was a fail)– and then I was going to wait and see what happened.
So, yeah, I would say my technique was a “modified shotgun” – sniper-shotgun.

Oh, hai. Waht? Thiz?  Thiz iz mah AK-47. Keep cuddlin iz all i'm sayin.

And now, a word about agents:

 1.) They are all made of stars.
2.) They are incredibly busy.

Therefore, you owe it to both your manuscript and to your queried agent(s) to do your research before you query. Learn who wants what. Learn if they accept multiple submissions. This is 101 stuff – but I feel the need to emphasize: “shotgun” does not mean “blind.” If you’re holding a gun, you better know where the business end is pointing. That is all I’m saying here.

So here’s how I took aim: (wow – this shotgun analogy is starting to weird me out. OK – it’s a GLITTER CANNON! Yeah! It shoots glitter – representing *look how the manuscript will wow you!*!!!)

1.) Spent a LOT of time visiting agency websites, reading about various agents, looking up who represented favorite authors/titles.
2.) Spent a LOT of time at agent blogs (both by and about agents)
3.) Spent a LOT of time pestering writer friends/reading writer blogs about their agents/agent journeys.

Then I was ready to Fire the GLITTER CANNON!!!

1.) I developed a *wish list* --now, this is where it starts to feel like a pinching-myself fairy tale. Because there was an agent on my list that I –seriously- laughed at myself when I put her name on the list. Because she was “the un-getable-get." But I put her name on my list because – hey – it’s called a “wish” list, right? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And as my amazing mother taught me: questions are free.

Faint heart never filled an inside straight.

In the fiction-writing biz, we call this foreshadowing, btw.

2.) I took my wish-list, and checked it over. My pestering of writer friends/reading of writer blogs had taught me that “young-and-hungry” agents were a VERY GOOD THING. So I made certain that my GLITTER CANNON pointed at lots of Y&H agents. This is simple logic: they are building their lists/careers. Ipso facto: they might want to take on a debut author. Also, I’m all for variety so I also aimed at mega, mid-sized, and boutique agencies. Threw in a few more-experienced agents, and the un-getable-get, and you had my GLITTER CANNON list. (Honestly, it can feel weird doing multiple submissions, because in the course of researching everyone – you just develop this huge crush on each one as you research. They’re all made of stars, remember? You go “oh, wow. That’s hot.” And then you feel all skanky cos you turn around and ogle another. And in the midst of this, you have the “reality check voice” (bitch) in your head saying “uh, yeah, and who are you exactly?” You must silence this voice.)

3.) I fired. I had about a week between each batch of 5. This is GOOD. This meant I could tell RIGHT AWAY if my query was, in fact, working. Since I had taken time to read up on the agents, I knew that COMPLETE AND TOTAL SILENCE (which is a pass, btw) would mean the QUERY wasn’t working. If I had fired two batches and no requests had been sent back, I would have stopped and re-worked the query.

As it was, I had immediate requests for the full MS on the first week I queried. I mean SAME DAY immediate. Okay, so agents are made of STARS and also LIGHTNING, apparently, when it comes to queries. MORAL: don’t query until your MS is READY (this also includes revisions!). Wouldn't it be awful to get a "sure!  lemme have it!" email and then get a perforated ulcer because you weren't *really* ready?  Be ready first.


I’m starting to SHOUT a lot. Maybe this is a good time to take a break. Sure don’t want to get all strident on y’all.

Part two – soon!